i am happy,satisfied,bloated,nervous,sleepy for the record.Talk about a turmoil of emotions.

Food~ah...i had lots of it last week,being back in JB.But being greedy isn't that great of course,with my ever expanding waist line and haywire digesting system.we went to eden!5 star-famous chef-3 figure priced dishes,that sort of blah.

the food was good....asparagus with white fungus,garoupa steamed in black bean sauce,shrimp with oats coating,almond chicken in orange sauce,deep fried tofu with cold dish assortment...oh my.it was very inspiring,especially when you havent had that sort of real food for the past year.burp..no pics,as usual,i didn't want to miss any of the good bits after all.*guffaws*and Ma went into a cooking frenzy,creme caramel,all kinds of soup,mooncakes~lots of it,cookies.Hols are not meant for dieting,dear me.

nervous?well yeah,tmr's the day,it'll make or break.scholarship interview,i'm trying to think how should i convince these ppl that i'm just a poor ,vulnerable student living as frugally as possible to survive each day?kinda melodramatic,but i need hard cold cash,sigh..the harsh realities of life.but,i'm gonna go in there with my fingers crossed,and a prayer in my heart,be myself and stutter through the session.ooh,another game,how exciting....

for this hols,i'm truly piggin' out.can't help it,but i think my body is trying VERY hard to make up for the lost sleep.which explains why i'm faling asleep almost everywhere.and did anyone mention it's hotter than hell today?global warming i s'ppose.i'm all ready to strip and walk out in a bikini ,but for the sake of all innocent citizens who are as naive as a tweety bird,i won't.

On a reflective mode,i noticed my hands today.i used to have smooth ,almost creaseless palms.the older ones always said it reflected good fortune and an easy life.my hands today,are slightly rough,with more creases than i can count,with skin coming of the rough edges,with a colouring that has been affected by scars and lines.

For a moment,i was sulking.ppl were commenting on my rough hands ever so often.Then,i saw the hard work that has come with these hands,the long nights when i tried to complete my assignments,the times i cut n scratched myself while doing chores,the things i lug around that deepen my creases.And i stop to think,these hands could have been in better conditions,could have been smooth and rosy,but where'd i be if i had not toiled with these hands,would my life have been easier,or would i have had the chance to experience the amazing ups n downs in life,things that have propelled me into womanhood?I am proud to say i can cook,i can clean,i can write and do so many more with my rough and chapped hands.They bear a testimony to what i've seen,done,and achieved in all my 19 years-and for that i thank God for my rough hands.

For the mothers,the grandmothers,at least for my own,I am glad that they too have creased,coarse palms,even more so.The nonsense on having a difficult life with these sort of hands?nah,we shape our destiny with our own hands.And i always thought ,you see a person's heart on their hands.These hands tell of wonderful stories and the exciting life of each and everyone who has truly LIVED.

but i'm still not dumping my bottles of lotion,moisturisers.;)